note to self: i miss u terribly..

2006-09-22T14:27:00.000-07:00

A lot happened since I updated my blog. New friends made, found out the who people really are inside, and so much more that it seemed as if it all happened yesterday.

As for u baby, we've gone through a lot haven't we? hahahahaha
I made a song for her..

These nights i wonder will u ever come back home
I can't see u.. anywhere..
This room is darker than before..
Well ur the light..

No i let it slipped now i'll never let it go..
I pushed u away before ...
I made my choice i'm never turning back..
Coz ur the one i've waited for and this room is getting brighter as we go.. so

Hold me close i'm feeling cold..
I dun care if fate's against us..
And as walls appear and slow us down
We'll just run through them and we'll recover fast
Dun think a second that we'll fall.. our strength will pull us through the end
I noe u noe we're strong enough..

No i let it slipped now i'll never let it go..
I pushed u away before ...
I made my choice i'm never turning back..
Coz ur the one i've waited for and this room is getting brighter as we go.. so

These nights i wonder will u ever come back home..

ahahahaha.. dun feeling2 eh u.. I'll gain ur trust back..

School sucks.. Exams coming, and ns check up on the 29th!!!! WHoaaa..
I've grown so much.. And i thought i was 9 yesterday.. hahahahaha
Everything's growing old. Well wad's in store for us.. =)))))

2006-08-28T17:53:00.000-07:00

and we have fallen so deep to even luk back now.. =)))

well let's nt disappoint each other.. U BETTER NT!! OR ELSE I WILL MAKE U FUCK A STINGRAY!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA.. ok bedek. .

well .. it started of so .. hmm.. 'tak kener langsung'? is that it? hahaha.. but luk where we are now..

she even gave me a poem that made think about it while i was on my way to school..

wanna know? kaka.. malas nk type.. okok??

ok bye.. i'm late to school and as usual mom is nagging her way to sleep.. hahaha.. luv u mom..

2006-08-19T10:28:00.000-07:00

hahahahahaha.. i am in love.. seriously.. hahahaha..

well.. ur mama's so fat she had to sit on all five back seats in the bus.. hahahahaha.. k bedek..

food of the day: mee ketiak matrep with bulu gravy

2006-08-16T10:14:00.000-07:00

went out to watch click with strawberry jane.. hahaha.. and it was freaking awesome.. it was funny at first.. but then it got so sad that we cried.. hahaha.. she's a girl i understand.. but hey.. i suck at this kind of movies.. haha.. strawberry jane was so warm today..

then after that i met up with carl, aj, asri, imp and john and we played counter-strike.. hahahahaha.. it was great!!!

food of the day, strawberry taik coated with pakistani muntah.. hahahaha

2006-08-15T06:49:00.000-07:00

am i a playboi?? is it my fault if relationships dun work? is it wrong if i go out once in a while with my frens who is a girl? if so.. is it wrong if a girl goes to another guy while she's dating me?? haizz.. hahahaha.. fuck lar..

2006-08-09T22:09:00.000-07:00

hahahaha.. so there were no fireworks yesterday.. but she sure hell filled my day with laughter.. hahaha.. funny..

interesting little gendeng.. hahahaha.. fun to be with.. Looking forward to having more fun with u.. hahahaha..

pokok eh..

2006-08-07T17:57:00.000-07:00

damn i miss this hair.. hahaha..

went to skate again yesterday.. and now i dun feel like going to school.. but hey, for my parents, anything will do! hahahaha

they juz dun noe that. well.. met up with hana yesterday.. one funny and irritating and so annoying si kentot tu!! kaka.. but funny and so adorable.. so yeah that was it.. and i still nid to practice more.. wad can i say.. i get excited for no reason..

i hope today's fireworks will be great. and i hope when they start exploding, someone will be there by my side.. let's juz see who cud it be.. =)) damn .. i'm late.. BUT I DUN WANNA GO!!!! hahahahahaha.. fuck. . oh!! and fahmi's in luv!! awwww.. hahahaha

2006-08-06T17:45:00.000-07:00

hahahahahahaha.. okok.. i'm updating.. i haven't had the time u noe.. sorie arh eh!!!

i have started skating.. hahahahahaha.. and du n guys think i did it coz i follow people... nope!!!! i wanted to try new things... yes!!!

oh the pic?? that was me during the gig at ij.. hahaha.. a bit tipsy.. but nothing more.. nice hair though.. the new fashion that'll stay forever !!! kakakakak.. ok pepek..

the other day i was skating at memo, and then an old guy with this hairstyle stopped us saying that we cant skate here.. haha.. i juz cudn't stop laughing at his hair.. rather than listening to his lecture, i kept looking at his grey center-parting hair!!!! hahahaha

then at nite we were skating from the esplanade to memo.. and then this group of guys stopped carl and asri.. gud thing i was at the far back.. coz they almost got fined for skating at a memorial place.. kakakaka.. the officer kept praising me.. hahahaha.. and i was acting all innocent as usual.. hahahaha..

so this is my latest entry.. I WILL UPDATE AGAIN IF I HAVE TIME!!!! hahahahahaha..

2006-07-30T22:32:00.000-07:00

ok honestly ij gig is the worst that cud have ever happened to us.. well, except for the PUNKROCK VS METAL gig!!!! that was the most awesome gig ever..

hahahaha.. i drank four bottles of tiger and then i cud not even control myself.. hhahahaha.. silly..

other than that it was ok.. nothing big happened.. but i remembered telling sha that i miss her.. oh my.. was it true? hmm..

got home with carl and piz and then chill at my place till late night.. haha.. when carl sleeps u better watch out for his hands.. freaky.. (it's for the guys) then in the morning played soccer.. and then me and carl and rai went our separate ways..

it was great this past few days.. =))

2006-07-25T23:37:00.000-07:00

hmmm.. everything's a bit calmer now.. rather than having to make decisions on the spot. but it's a bit boring now.

went out to lido to chill with the sha, shaz, carl imp and asri yesterday.. hahaha. .it was fun. never had that much laugh for along time.

i'm lacking of love. pls sumone give me hope again.. i've lost everything and now it's hard to pick up the pieces on my own.. hahaha.. ok emo.. mers..

2006-07-24T00:46:00.000-07:00

sunday was ok.. hahahaha... i juz find it hard to look at mel nowadays.. hahaha.. dun even noe why.

damn.. the gig is this saturday and we're still nt ready for it yet. hahaha.. nvm.. we'll definitely think of something..

and i hate it when people dun wan u and then enter ur life again juz to say sorie.. fuck hahahaha.. juz go away lar.. u've done enough damage already.. juz go away..

haha.. she chated with me juz now.. and i was like so rude.. hahaha.. i juz dun wan the feeling to come back.. it hurts.. two years straight she did this.. and then expect me to forgive her.. haha.. fuck off.. i'm still mad.. made me put high hopes on u and u left.. gave me false impressions and then u left.. hahahahahaha..

2006-07-22T07:51:00.000-07:00

hahahaa... i got punked!!!!!!! damn asri!!! he pretended to be lydia and almost fooled me by asking to mit him .. hahaha.. slengs!!!!!

today was ok but tiring and boring..

i spent the whole day at tapestry could u believe that!!!!!
it was great for the band but boring for me coz i have to wait for the next band to get ready and all.. damn.. hahaha.. saw mel but it was okay.. saw zee .. now that was ok too.. everything's back to normal.. that's gud..

i'm feeling so packed inside.. like i need someone to be there for me.. someone who knoes wad i am going through.. who can luk me in the eye and tell me that everything's alrite.. somone who could make me feel safe when i am around her arms .. haha.. sumone who smells gud even after moshing her way out of ij studios.. hahahaha..

does it sound like i am asking a lot.. hmm.. i wonder..

2006-07-20T08:47:00.000-07:00

today was ok.. went out at 10.30 for my chemistry class..
then after stayed for awhile after skul to study.. hahaha.. the o level guys are freaking funny...

then went home played the com til around 4.. went out and met up with azahari , and had his lunch while i had a smoke.. hahahahaha.. from 924, we went to 293 to buy food for my family.. went to my place to send the food and then shahril came .. soon after that we made our way to woodlands and met up with athena and the rest.. haha.. she was extra loud today.. never wonder why.. hahahaha.. nah.. she was fun and her frens too.

sometimes it's best to mix around once in a while.. but nt too much.. conflicts will inevitably arise... whether u like it or nt.. so dun risk it.. so is that called chicken soup for the day??? hahaha

2006-07-19T23:13:00.000-07:00

it's funny if u think it this way.. well .. nothing's funny now.. seriously.. my life's a bore.. i dun find anything funny now.. but thanx to my friends, i now think that there is still hope.. thanx guys. .

hmm.. u can say that i'm angry now.. or i dun noe
wad i'm feeling.. bitch.. hahaha.. fuck..

i juz dun noe wad to say..

a year of waiting.. wasted.. hahaha.. stupid me.. fucking stupid..

2006-07-18T21:07:00.000-07:00

history has presented itself upon me yet again.. she's gone from my arms and has flown away to another cage..

she is juz like a circus.. coming anually and giving me the best time with the most laughter she cud ever offer.. and when the show's done, they'll disappear till next year when they come and visit again..

guess ur off again supergerl .. flying away saving others now.. take care .. =)

2006-07-17T10:22:00.000-07:00

i've changed.. for the better maybe.. don't noe 'they' wud believe me.. not hoping that much.. screw them

yes everybody i've updated my blog..

been awhile.. and a lot has happened .. things i never wud have guessed..

things like the ghost from the past coming to haunt me back.. a pleasant gerl.. but is she back to make history repeat itself or it she staying for gud..

or things like hahahaha.. A Stale Melodrama will be performing at IJ Studios on the 29th july.. together with Obscure Phoenix, Summer's Over, and many more..

or perhaps, the most saddest of all.. I fell sick for all three days of baybeats this year!!!!! oh my f*&^!!!!! hahahahahahahaha

well supergerl.. since ur here.. might as well u stop flying and settle down.. and concentrate all ur strength on saving me.. coz i nid a hero rite now.. i'm broken.. so help me supergerl.. by staying..

for once.....

2006-05-05T03:50:00.000-07:00

Ok shit!! i noe i noe!! i haven't been updating..
fuck!!! i'm soo busy nowadays!!!

Okok.. after my mid year!!! promise..
like people are going to notice like that!!

ok.. so .. my bro will be going to australia tonite..
gonna miss him.. =(.. NOT!!! kakakakakakaka
seriously.. i am going to miss him..
be carefull rite bro..

hey.. i am making a test.. those who viewed my blog.. pls leave a testi.. if it's below ten.. then i'm gonna delete this blog.. =) bye!!

2006-04-27T20:52:00.000-07:00

i'm buying every word that u sell..

And to think that u really care..

why do we do this to ourselves?
And to think there's still something left..

I'm falling down.. deep into the black hole..

And never coming back..

Do you even realise that?

It's taken away along with u slicing through my skin..

I'd prefer to bury ur head..

Will u realise then?

I was feeling fine with it..

When u were still innocent..

Dun say ur innocent too soon!!

Give it all away.. everything that we had..

Dun look back while ur ahead of this..

Only we cud hear ouselves..

the sound of epidemic is inevitable..

Pls look back.. Stop doing wad u are doing..

yesterday was boring.. wait!! okok arh.. after skool went to town..

then jln2 only.. and june i wanna shop again!! kaka..

saw the shirts at topman.. it's killing me!! seriously!!!

then met sha and dayak..

after sha went to skul, me and dayak went for a drink.. kinda nice to lepak with her.. haha.. mesti lar.. dier yg blanjer.. kaka..

jahat sak aku.. thanx dayak..

2006-04-24T04:40:00.000-07:00

Thank u so much guys.. I appreciate it a lot!!

All my wishes came true during my birthday.. I actually got more than wad i wanted!!
I started the day by going to school.. haha.. during my break, i got sabo by my frens.. haha.. both tepung, eggs and santan.. KAKA.. All over me.. Even my ipod got a taste of wad i got.. U poor thingy.. kaka
After all the sabo, they surprised me with a cake!!! And i was soo touched coz it's been ages since i ate a cake on my birthday!!! kaka.. i luv u guys.. Thanx!!

then went home straight to bathe and change!! COz it's shopping for me!! kaka..
Coz mak and abah gave me 200 dollars for my birthday!! haha
Met sha and ril at orchard.. THen after i bought shirts and pants, met up with man, az, amin, naser and razif.. And i finally got my lacoste shoe!! kaka.. luv it!! then met up with sha's aunty and they surpirsed me with a cake!! wooooohhooooo!!! luv u all!!! haha..
After that went to mit up with thomas.. and we headed towards arab street.. to smoke shisha!! kaka.. best siolll!!! kaka..

THen went to eat.. and then went home..

seriously, this was the best birthday ever!! like i said it turned way way better than i had expected.. I luv the ending part the most!! kaka..

THanx everyone for the wishes and the presents!! i appreciate everything that u guys did!! =) I'm a happy man!!

2006-04-14T00:51:00.000-07:00

it's amazing how small singapore could be..

Well.. Smaller than u think..
haha, seriously..

Yesterday went out to celebrate sharil's birthday.. But i went to the library first then went to mit them..

After that, me and tasha went straight hm.. She had to mit her mom and i had to mit sumone else..

Me and tasha was at northpoint going to the bus interchange, when this two blind guy asked for help.. They wanted to take the bus but obviously they can't see..
And everyone just stood there and watched as the two guys kept asking for help.. How cruel can singaporeans be..

This is where me and tasha came in.. haha.. we offered our assistance to them.. We couldn't help feeling sorry for them.. It's torturing enough for them being blind, and it's humiliating enough for them to seek help from people who is too selfish to lend a helping hand..

So we guided them to the interchange.. And we saw a bus attendant. So i thought he would help the guys board the bus.. Instead, he shouted at them telling them to board the bus themselves.. wad the fuck!! that's freaking cruel!!

Haha.. so we lodge a complain!! kaka.. we were angels!! Only for that day i guess.. Or maybe we were nicer than we thought.. ok crap kaka..

Once again astro and tazmanian devil save the day.. Kaka..

2006-04-11T00:45:00.000-07:00

kaka.. yesterday and today very funny sia..
oh yar.. i was unable to insert a pic, dun noe wad happen.. kaka

So.. i was all ready to go to skul yesterday.. Went out of the house already.
It was raining heavily.. Kaka.. And there was this big puddle..
I was so stupid to juz walk through the puddle.. and i fell!!! kaka
so i was wet.. And i had to go hm again and change.. KAka..
THen when i was at hm, i realised m bag was wet too.. THen when i opened up the bag, and saw my perfume was crushed!!! KAka..
Then i was all ready to go to school again.. And i decided to jump over the puddle this time.. KAka..
Reached skool, and i had another laugh.. The receptionist told me that the teacher couldn't make it coz she fell and broke her arm.. Kaka.. And i was already there..
Then.. WHen i reached hm, i had a call from the same receptionist whom i toked to earlier and she repeated wad happened to the teacher.. And it's as if i heard for the first time!! KAka

Today also like that.. KAka.. But i didn't fall or anything.. haha.. I reached there and the receptionist said my teacher couldn't come.. KAka..

Damn B.M.C.. KAka.. If i fail, I'm gonna blame them.. haha.. Waste my money only.. kaka

2006-04-09T23:57:00.000-07:00

I miss u guys..

Went jamming yesterday.. Saw my frens.. It hurts though when they act as if they dun even noe me..

It's ok.. i'll live..

nothing much happened.. kaka..
but yesterdays jamming was fun!!

2006-04-08T23:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was fun actually.. Met up with Az, Rahman, Shahril, Nasser, Amin and Rafiq and Fara

First we went to Kallang. We wanted to watch the soccer game between S.A.F and Young Lions Under 17.. Haha.. It was a battle between Razif and Awul.. kaka.. It ended with a draw.. Both teams scoring a goal!! YAY!!!..

After sending Fara to the mrt station, we made a move to Geylang. The rest wanted to watch the 'Kuda Kepang'. it's a ritual i guess.. Where guys would be possessed and do thing a normal human being can't do.. they would act like horses i guess with their movements so similar to the animal.. But rumors has it that some of the rituals are fake.. That some of rituals are juz an act.. Whatever it is, I was seriouly at the edge of my sit when it started.. kaka.. Ok, i admit, i'm scared of the rituals.. Who wouldn't!! They're fooling around with devils juz to entertain us!!.. haha..

Well.. Fortunately.. I did overcome my fears of those 'Horse Rituals' if i may call it.. And i wud love to see it again!!

After Paya Lebar, we waited for Az at the Dhoby Ghaut MRT Station.. And then went we went hm straight..

Rite now as i am updating my blog, I am soo tired and poofed!! We had a soccer match early in the morning.. And we won!! yay!! kaka.. So i guess, after updating, i'm gonna go straight to the shower.. kaka..

bye!!

2006-04-07T20:58:00.000-07:00

Misplaced memories..

woke up at 11.30 today.. maybe i'll be mitting my frens around 2.. but kinda lazy arh.. haha.. i guess i'll be mitting them a bit late i guess.. kaka..

great memories in these pics...
this pic was taken when it was arman's birthday.. haha.. we were willing to hide in his room till arman was back from work..

kaka.. memories..

I miss u guys!!

2006-04-07T01:49:00.000-07:00

Note to Self: I miss my frens..
I have been depending on them for years..
So when they left, i felt like i did nt noe wad to do..
Had someone, but then left..
Had everything, then in a second, everythings gone..
And i regret everything now..

Today and yesterday was a bore.. Nothing fun was happening now.. Exactly nothing!! Except for the soccer game after school.. Other than that, I was bored..

I told my fren once that if boredom is a serious sickness, then i guess i would die numerous times.. !! haha.. Ok bedek..

AND YES!! I STILL WANT THAT HAIR!!!! SO DUN TELL ME THAT I' GAY COZ I PUT THIS PIC!! IT'S BECOZ I LUV THE HAIR U IRRITATING IRRITANTS!!!

HAHA!!!.. I learned a lot of new words which i've heard of before, but nt quite sure of the meaning.. kaka..
Like obliged..
uhhh.. Irritating irritants.. kaka
uhh.. Unintended Misery.. kaka..
many many many many!!!

2006-04-05T01:26:00.000-07:00

maybe everything happened for a reason.. maybe my fate was to be alone..
I'll die alone too rite..
Everyone dies alone..
No one lives to be happy..
No one lives to see smiles everytime..
Coz when they die.. definitely tears, screams from some pleading God to nt take u now..

Everyone lives to see something tragic or to feel the tragedy themselves.. it's inevitable..
life depends on sadness to make people realise of how cruel the world can be..
to make them buckle up for their turn in time to come..
In that case, wad's the use of being happy?
Why would u be happy when in the end u'll cry ur heart out..
when in the end.. u cry and nothing can help u..

I noe how u feel now.. I'm sorie..

2006-04-03T23:03:00.000-07:00

This is a story of a guy and a gerl..

A guy.. considered as a nobody.. found this gerl he thought was everything.. He was willing to do everything for her.. they were together.. But soon everything collapsed..

Maybe she was influenced by his ex.. Maybe his ex brainwashed her.. Maybe she had feelings for sumone else.. Maybe her love for the guy come and go.. Or maybe she has second thoughts about the relationship.. so many maybes.. Maybe if she just open up herself to him, he could help her.. Maybe if she tells him, he could loosen her burden by sharing her problems with him.. All the guy noes is that she still luvs him..

Becoz of that.. the guy couldn't think straight.. He didn't sleep much.. The only thing that was in his mind was her.. He loved her so much that he wasn't angry when she said that her feelings for him come and go.. Instead he was glad that she atleast opened up her feelings to him.. Coz during the course of their relationship, they were mainly based on trust, opening up to wad they feel, and love.. So he promised her that he would help become who she was before.. Someone the opposite of who she is now..

So he thought of surprising her by fetching her up from skul.. Juz as he was about to cross the road infront of his neighbourhood, he did nt realised of a coming vehicle moving so fast towards him.. After loud bangs were heard, the guy was just lying there and there was nothing passer-bys can do.. He was already dead.. As the people surrounded him, they saw just a petal of rose covered with nice paper wrappers untouched by the vehicle at all. Nt a single scratch was found on the thick-red rose..

As time goes by, the girl did nt hear anything from the guy again. So she came to a conclusion that the guy had forgotten about her.. Yet she wondered wad happened to him.. Her ego prevented her from calling him but her heart prevented her from nt finding out about his disappearance.. So she decided to go to his place and asked him face to face..

To her surprise, the guy's mom told her that he had passed away.. Hearing those news with her own ears, she wanted to cry but her tears seemed to not believe the words she just heard.. Her heart didn't want to believe and she insisted that his mom was lying..
So his mom gave her this letter and a box.. Saying that it was from him.. By then, the guy's mom had tears falling down from her eyes every second but yet curious to wad was in the letter..

It said,
"Hey baby.. If ur reading this, then i guess i am already gone.. Just so u noe, i have always love u and that i will never stop loving u even if i'm nt there by ur side anymore.. I was thinking of burning this letter when i turn 25 or something.. But i guess something happened to me in the way.. Haha.. Silly me.. I wrote this letter before i went out to surprise u by fetching u hm from school.. It's for fun i guess.. haha..
Got the gift? If i'm nt mistaken, the rose is till fresh rite? How.. u ask? Well that's the power of my luv for u.. It's still fresh coz.. I guess.. I still luv u.. Let this rose remind u that u are my true love.. And no one else.. My heart only aches for this reasons which i'm about to tell u..
Remember my promise to u? That i wud help u all the way to become the person u once were? The person who showered me with the most love, the person who is nt afraid to tell me wad she feels, her past, her fears, haha.. Her full name? Remember? I'm just disappointed with myself for that.. I was nt there to help u all the way.. And i didn't even get the chance to say that i luv u for the last time before i go.. i did nt get the chance to hug u for the last time and i definitely did nt have the chance to kiss u for the last time.. I noe that u once said that ur feelings for me kept on coming and going.. But deep down in ur heart, and i noe u wun admit it.. That u really luv me too.. U too longed for a chance to hold me in ur arms again.. Heh.. It's ok.. I noe.. I luv u too my dear..
So i guess this is it.. I can finally go for gud.. Remember baby.. Dun be afraid to make mistakes.. Dun be afraid to open up urself and show ur vulnerable side.. Coz that is the only way ur loved ones will noe wad u really feel deep in that armor u put on the outside.. Remember that i luv u soo much and that i miss u, 2, 3, 4, 5.. hehe..
Infinity.. Is my luv for u.. Gud bye.. "

She couldn't say a word.. But something the guy would definitely love to see happened.. For once, the held back tears kept deep within her, all the emotions, finally burst out and broke the armor.. She shouted at the top of her lungs, shouting that she luvs the guy.. By then, it was already too late..

think about it..

2006-04-01T20:37:00.000-08:00

What happened.. happened for a reason..
Well.. fuck u bitch..
If u think u've won, think again..
U want my frens.. take them..
if they're stupid enough to follow ur stupid words..
Take them..

Life is bad for me i guess, maybe people would think that i'm the bad one.. Maybe people think that i'm the rite one.. Whatever it is, i dun blame u all.. Maybe there will come a day when all will be proven.. And maybe I'll be sinking deep..
Time will tell..
Till then, watch as the story of the year begins to unfold.. Where the darkness in people's heart begins to shine.. And everything is on the line..
It's inevitable i guess.. armagedon is rising from the depth of people's darkest secrets..

A Stale Melodrama recently had a gig at I.J Studios.. And i'm glad that it turned out great.. Fuck balls.. The previous two gigs were a total let down.. It's disgraceful!! Imagine u performing and no one everyone were making their way home.. Fuck sey!! kaka..
Even if they watched us, they were like ignoring us playing.. Damn sad..
I'm glad that at least something worked fine..

Kiss me baby..
While i hold u tenderly but tight in my arms..
As the stars shine to our romance..
And nothing else will matter but only us..